LOVE and WARdrobe

Wireless Festival

To be published in issue 2 of Front Row View magazine in August

With a little dress and gold gladiator sandals, it had reached the time of year were attending a festival was crucial to gain your place in the ‘I’ve been cool this summer’ charts (and thus, been on holiday, got a tan and had a BBQ, opposed to sitting inside, avoiding the rays while watching Jeremy Kyle rip into drug-addicted dads).

Unlike the Glasto-goers and V fest veterans, Wireless was the festival of choice for lipstick-festival-goers. After all, who would choose sleeping in a wee-ridden tent over going home after a day of music to a nice, refreshing shower? Ok, many of us would, but not the type of girl who is prone to forgetting essentialities as imperative as baby wipes and spare toilet roll.

As well as appealing to a dirt-avoiding nature, Wireless offered Jay Z as the headline act and Lily Allen, who was performing her ‘last London festival for a very long time’; who could say no to watching that? With the sun blazing and hit-churning line-up, it was a great way to spend the day and go for a splash of style-spotting and music-marking.

Mr Hudson, dressed in head-to-toe blue and ankle-swingers, with crutches at the ready, hopped across the stage, declaring it was his state of being ‘drugged up to the eyeballs on medication’ that gave him the strength to carry out the bizarre unaided bopping.

The song before the hit ‘Supernova’ proved too much excitement for the fans, or maybe it was the diagonal jumps across the stage, as they all threw hundreds of bottles in the air for the duration of over two songs, leaving girls with drenched hair and teary eyes throughout the bottle-clubbing crowd. Sensing the madness of the festival-goers, Mr Hudson declared ‘you’re crazy but I love you’, but Lily Allen took a different approach to the hair-frizzing antics. Having seen many a girl combust into floods of tears at the bang of a head, she asked the crowd on numerous occasions to stop, before dedicating her song ‘F*** You’ to the offenders. Wearing a white jumpsuit, Lily was on-trend, although by this point, the realisation that strappy sandals should be avoided came into place as everyone’s feet were dustier than desert sandstorm. To future festivals-goers; wearing boots is an intelligent way to keep manicured toes clean, while cinching the ‘girly-yet-wild’ trend to a tee by teaming boots with a flowy dress. Sandals, on the other hand, lead to washing your toes in Porto loos with sterigel.

Chpimunk had many-a-girl swooning while Tinie Tempa couldn’t fit his fans in the tent, leading to crunched toe-nails and barging strong enough to challenge fashionistas at a 75% off designer handbag sale.

Jay Z concluded the night, getting the crowd to wave their diamonds in the air (the shape of their hands, not the Swarovski’s) and even at one point shirts (cue lots of men getting their six-packs out- or what they believe to be six-packs!).

With many music lovers spinning clothes above their heads, it seemed only right to compile a list of this years most-worn Wireless festival trends, allowing the trend-follower to be spot-on-trend, and the individualist to know what to avoid:

1. Straw Hats

Barely man nor woman was seen without the woven hats, protecting their eyes from the sun while adding a touch of nature to a trendy outfit

2. Cropped Tops

Midriffs took over chests as girls topped-up their tans by wearing cropped tops teamed with hot pants

3. Swan Sunglasses

The Jeepers Peepers glasses were everywhere, keeping eyes safe the fashionable way

And the worst:


White t-shirts with white trousers were a definite no-no, especially as the victim had sat in mud. Not a good look when you don’t bring a picnic blanket